im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Your cock deserves a montage
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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