apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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