He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
