It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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