i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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