let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
