the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
