I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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