he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
