she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
