NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
