Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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