Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize