If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
