I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
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