i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
