This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
