I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
