I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Sorry my hands just texted you
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
