I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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