this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
