i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
