Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
he laminated a picture of his dick.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize