You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
