YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
