Pants 0. Shit 1.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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