I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
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