i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
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I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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