I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
