i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
