oh god the rape fog is back!
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
