apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
