some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
