You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
