i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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