My boss' voice literally gives me gas
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
