I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
