At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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