He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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