This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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