i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
