Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
