I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize