I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
