OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
