i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
His hands were made for my vagina.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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