My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
