We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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