I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize