i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize
