Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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