i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
