I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize