the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
