her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
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