NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
