One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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