We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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