I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
