So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
