But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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