Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
