Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
