I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
